


Alternative Universe Deconstruction

by CaptainJZH



Series: Cloud 'Vonnie [6]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Action, Gen, Holodeck Character, Holodecks/Holosuites, Permafusion Stevonnie, Reality Bending, Technobabble, but in Rose's Room
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:42:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29335497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainJZH/pseuds/CaptainJZH
Summary: Lapis, Amethyst and Peridot think they've found a way out of the Room, but Stevonnie stands in their way.
Relationships: Amethyst/Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe), Connie Maheswaran & Stevonnie & Steven Universe, Sadie Miller/Stevonnie
Series: Cloud 'Vonnie [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2140194
Kudos: 2





	Alternative Universe Deconstruction

_ Last time on The Stevonnie Show… _

“I’m tired of the same thing, day in and day out!” Stevonnie proclaimed, sitting at a booth with everyone in the coffee shop.

“Well so am I but you don’t hear me complaining,” CloudLapis mused from behind the counter.

“What are you saying, ‘Von?” Sadie asked.

Kiki chimed in. “Yeah, what are you saying?”

“I’m going…to college!”

_ And now the continuation… _

\---

The opening sequence now featured an upbeat pop song, playing as the main cast danced around a college campus. Amethyst, Peridot and RealLapis hid behind some bushes as the credits played out.

“First of all, I fail to remember that scene occurring,” Peridot remarked. “Second, why is the opening sequence so  _ different?” _

“Stevonnie’s retooling the show,” Lapis said as her cloud counterpart refused to dance, still emotionless and jaded. “They must’ve gotten bored with the ‘friends in the big city’ stuff.”

“So now they just go to college now?” Amethyst laughed. “That’s worse than when  _ Lil Butler  _ added Lil’er Butler, Lil Butler’s baby brother.”

At the end of the opening, Stevonnie and friends collapsed on the grass, text appearing above them.

_ Created by Stevonnie Maheswaran-Universe _

\---

Stevonnie and friends still met at a coffee shop, but instead of a rundown city coffee shop, this was a young, hip coffee shop at Cloud University. CloudLapis was still a barista and Sadie was still their roommate — they had all just been moved to a college setting.

“I just aced that final!” Stevonnie said, hopping into a booth.

“Woo!” Kiki congratulated. “Look at you, all smart and stuff.”

“I knew you could do it,” Sadie said, kissing them on the cheek.

“When you graduate and make millions, can you free me from my chains?” CloudLapis joked, serving someone a coffee.

“Lapis, you’re a barista on a college campus, not an indentured servant,” Stevonnie remarked. The audience cackled with laughter.

Over in another booth, Amethyst, Peridot and RealLapis sat, trying to think of a plan. Peridot continued to fiddle with her tablet, unable to make progress.

“There has to be  _ something  _ we can do,” Amethyst sighed. “Can we try finding that vent again? It might lead us back the way we came.”

“Vent’s long gone,” RealLapis said. “Stevonnie probably got rid of it when they redid the sets.”

“Ugh!” Peridot exclaimed. “This is  _ impossible  _ to get through. The only thing I’ve been able to access is the system statistics.”

“And what are those?” Amethyst asked.

“The Room’s current processing power and memory usage, that sort of thing.”

“And where are they at?”

“It was using up 80% of its memory just generating the college campus, if that tells you anything. Processing is up to 60% now because of the extras here in the coffee shop.”

Amethyst looked around at all the miscellaneous, nameless people crowding around the store, and had an idea. “Wait right here,” she said, getting up.

Amethyst went to the door and shouted out to the street. “Hey everyone! Free coffee!”

Suddenly, a hoard of freshly-generated extras walked into the coffee shop, crowding it even more. Stevonnie looked around in surprise, as CloudLapis went and hid under the counter. Amethyst ran back to the booth.

“Where we at now?” Amethyst asked.

“80% processing power!” Peridot said, her eyes lighting up. “Amethyst, you’re a genius!” Peridot gave Amethyst a deep kiss on the lips.

“Excuse me, but how does this help us?” RealLapis asked.

“See, the Room isn’t just responding to Stevonnie’s will,” Peridot explained. “It’s an elaborate simulation that reacts to its participants’ actions. Amethyst told the street there was free coffee, and the Room reacted by generating extras who wanted free coffee. If we can manipulate the plot of  _ The Stevonnie Show  _ to generate as many characters and settings as it can, then the Room will overload its processors and automatically restart the system in Safe Mode, allowing me access to its controls!”

“And you’re sure this’ll work?” RealLapis asked.

“Nope!” Peridot said confidently.

\---

On the campus of Cloud University, Stevonnie was peacefully walking to class. But unfortunately for them, Amethyst, Peridot and RealLapis had other ideas.

“Aw man, I can’t wait to see the _annual marching band parade_ go through campus!” Amethyst called out.

The Room spawned a marching band into existence, sending them marching through Stevonnie’s path. Peridot checked her tablet. Processing power and memory usage were at 80%. They had to go bigger.

“And it’s such a lovely day for the bird watchers convention!” RealLapis shouted.

A flock of birds swarmed in above them, as a crowd of bird watchers chased after them. 90% power.

“And oh look, there’s the club fair out on the Quad!” Peridot said, a long row of tables with club representatives appearing along the sidewalk. 95% power.

Stevonnie grew more and more frustrated with the interference. This was  _ their  _ show, they were supposed to call the shots! “Room! Delete all excess—”

Stevonnie was interrupted by Amethyst, who summoned her whip and lassoed their feet, knocking them to the ground. Amethyst tackled them soon after, putting her arm around their mouth.

“Lapis, Peridot, it’s now or never!” Amethyst shouted.

“If only there was a crowd of protesters to protest that controversial comedy person appearing today!” Peridot said.

A crowd of protesters armed with pitchforks and torches emerged from around a corner.

“Hey, protesters! The marching band thinks you’re dumb!” Lapis called out, sending the two crowds into fighting. As the campus descended into chaos around them, Stevonnie wrestled free, punching Amethyst in the face.

“120% processing, 138% memory!” Peridot exclaimed. “The Room’s drawing way more than it has, it should reset any moment now!”

The sky started to collapse away into blackness, as the people in the crowds began to glitch out and freeze in place. Lights flickered on and off. Buildings became textureless cubes.

As Stevonnie fought the three Gems, they frantically called out to the Room. “Room, change setting to coffee shop!” No response. “Room, delete all extras!” No response. “Why isn’t it answering?!”

“We must’ve fried out the command receivers,” Peridot realized. “There’s no controlling it now, the system’s in meltdown.”

“Do you realize what you’ve done?!” Stevonnie screamed. Their body started glitching, forcing them to the ground. 

_ “Yeah,”  _ Steven said, appearing in the Temple Door with Connie. “What  _ have _ you done?”

“They were keeping us here!” Amethyst defended.

“Because you were gonna shut me down!” Stevonnie argued.

“Because the Room was using too much power and threatening the safety of the Temple!” Peridot countered.

“And now what’s gonna happen?” Connie asked.

“...the Room’s doing a system reboot,” Peridot explained. “It was the only way for us to regain control.”

“And what’ll happen to me, huh?” Stevonnie asked. “You think about  _ that?” _

Steven turned to Peridot. “Peridot, what are the chances that Stevonnie will be lost forever?”

“50/50. Give or take.”

Connie grabbed Peridot by the collar, bringing the small Gem up to her eye level.  _ “Fix it. Now.” _

Peridot was dropped to the ground, where she took out her tablet. “Alright, usually the system would just reset instantly, but opening the Temple Door slowed down the usual protocol, so we have time. Now Stevonnie, I’m going to need admin access.”

Stevonnie looked to Steven and Connie, and sighed. “The password is KevinSux815.” Steven stifled a giggle at that.

“Alright, I’m in,” Peridot said. “Stevonnie.exe is currently saved with the rest of the Room’s files, meaning you’re unfortunately doomed if it resets.”

“...And?” Stevonnie asked.

“And I can just move your file to a more secure folder, encrypting it to prevent further errors! And...done.”

A tiny, pink floating whale appeared next to Stevonnie, as more and more of their surroundings disappeared into blackness.  _ “System reset in five seconds.” _

Steven and Connie took Stevonnie’s hands.

“Well,” Stevonnie sighed. “Here goes nothing.”

\---

_ The Stevonnie Show is recorded in front of a live studio audience. _

“Guys!” Stevonnie said, entering the coffee shop with Sadie.

“Hey ‘Vonnie,” Steven said, sitting at a table with Connie.

“Yo, the ‘Vonster!” Amethyst greeted, sitting with Peridot.

CloudLapis and RealLapis both sat at the counter, rolling their eyes.

“Guess who got that promotion!” Stevonnie said, holding up Sadie and twirling them around in the air. “Sadiiiiie!”

“Assistant manager,” Sadie blushed.

“Congrats!” Connie said.

“Damn, I hope ‘Vonnie shows you a good time, then,” Amethyst joked.

“Don’t worry,” Stevonnie said with a wink. “I will. And besides...” They leaned into Amethyst’s ear. “...my Sadie’s better than yours.”

As Amethyst’s eyes widened, everyone froze in place, with jazz music playing to finish out the episode.

_ Executive Producers _

_ Amethyst & Peridot _

_ Executive Producer _

_ Stevonnie Maheswaran-Universe _

**Author's Note:**

> And that's as much as I have written of Cloud Vonnie! Might write more, don't know yet.
> 
> Special thanks to E350tb for inspiring me and all his help, being such a good friend and writer.
> 
> In case you didn't notice, the past several entries have had titles inspired by sitcom episode names! 
> 
> The Stevonnie Show: Seinfeld
> 
> The One Where Stevonnie Asks Sadie Out: Friends
> 
> My Doppelganger: Scrubs
> 
> The Gang Gets Stuck In The Room: It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia
> 
> Alternative Universe Deconstruction: Community


End file.
